Silent Gratitude
by mirrorOfsin
Summary: A hand slid under the table and took hold hers. She looked up startled at Millicent who just looked forward and the warm pressure of her fingers was comforting. Pansy/Millicent. Post-war.


Silent Gratitude

Now I am strong you gave me all

You gave all you had and now I am home

My love, leave yourself behind

Beat inside me, I'll be with you

- _My Love_, Sia

On the platform, their goodbyes lasted the longest to their families and friends. No one looked at them as they boarded the train and found their compartments. They moved about like ghosts in green and silver, restless and hurt. She sat huddled up on the seat, protectively curled and avoided everyone's eyes. She found her and sat next to her, though they never spoke throughout the whole journey. They filed into the Great Hall and took their seats on the Slytherin table and listened to the Sorting Hat sing out about unity and then sort all the new pupils into their houses. She felt the glances being made at her when Professor McGonagall took the centre stage, welcoming new and old pupils back as Headmistress. She announced that a memorial wall had been erected to honour all those who died in both wars and pupils could go and pay their respects if they wished.

She felt faint as she thought about the dead and she took a deep breath. A hand slid under the table and took hold hers. She looked up startled at Millicent who just looked forward and the warm pressure of her fingers was comforting. She turned her head away but gently squeezed back in a silent gratitude.

**/x/**

She found her standing alone in front of the wall, the names but a blur through her tears. She tried to wipe them away but Millicent had seen them and just stood next to her quietly. She was fixed on the names of the dead Slytherins and in particular that of her father. She wondered then who would mourn some of these men and women?

"I can't even mourn my own father… If I was on there, who would mourn me?" she asked voice hollow and strained. Millicent turned to her and looked at her in the eye and she felt suspended in that moment, barely able to breathe.

"I would," she said clearly and then walked away slowly, leaving her staring after her dazed.

**/x/**

It seemed that for all the talk of unity there were still splits and fractions within Hogwarts. The Slytherins kept to themselves most of the time, many still trying to piece together their lives as the aftermath went on. Unlike a lot of the Gryffindors, all the Slytherin students had returned to complete their final year and they were the ones that still seemed to be suffering. Recovery was slow for those students who could see others avoid them. She was nothing like the girl she used to be. She was quieter and stayed with her group of friends most of the time. Theirs was a true testimony of friendship, banding together for protection and comfort making sure that none of them became complete outcasts. They had been pardoned as most of them were innocent, victims of their family connections and bloodlines. But forgiveness did not mean that all was forgotten. She knew that painfully as some people laughed at her as she slid and fell in the snow and dropped her bag and books.

She steeled her shoulders and refused to cry in front of them. She was a fighter and she'd be damned if they tried to reduce her to anything less. Suddenly she felt a hand gently touch her shoulder and then Millicent helped her up before bending down to gather up her things.

"Thanks," she murmured brushing down her robe and slung her bag over her shoulder. Millicent gave a small smile and walked with her back inside. She reached out to touch her hand and Millicent looked a little surprised but didn't pull away.

"I…" she didn't know what she wanted to say. Thank you for still being her friend? Thank you for being so kind over the months? Millicent seemed to understand and pressed her hand before letting go and followed her into the Slytherin common room.

**/x/**

They all sat in the common room and it was almost as if nothing had happened. As if there had been no war, no death or pain. Except there were two people noticeably missing from their group. Daphne hummed under breath braiding her hair, Millicent and Blaise played a game of wizard chess and Pansy watched the girl under her lashes. She had changed over the years that they had known each other. She was still tall but less boyish in her appearance, thanks to hers and Daphne's influence. She had also slimed down and was rather attractive with her dark hair, clear skin and murky blue-grey eyes.

She was distracted then by Draco who came in and they all paused, looking up. She could feel a few of them glance at her but she just smiled as he came to sit by Theodore. They were over, long before the battle at Hogwarts but it had taken some time before she realised this. They had agreed to remain friends even though it was a strange concept to be friends with a boy that she thought she might marry one day. Yet she gradually became used to it and found that Draco made a better friend than boyfriend. Anyway, she was currently thinking of someone else entirely and that idea was far more titillating and exciting than any other.

Millicent looked at her and she blushed and turned back to the magazine she was pretending to read, her heart skipping in her chest.

**/x/**

She kissed her and it had been a long time since she felt her breath catch the way it did. It had also been a long time since she felt the fear of rejection as she drew back and waited for Millicent to say or do something. The girl looked at her curiously before she slowly brought her hand up to her face. Pansy almost cried with relief as she kissed her back and it had been a long time since she felt so happy like she did in that moment.

**/x/**

Old wounds were now healed with only the faintest of scars left. She lay in Millicent's bed making a list of all the things to take with her this summer on the holiday they had both planned. In between their end of year exams they made their plans, talking extensively on their futures. Pansy was looking into taking a job with the _Daily Prophet_ whilst Millicent was thinking of a job within the Ministry. Pansy smiled at the girl who squeezed her hand and they both looked to the future optimistically for the first time.

_Fin._

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Reviews are love :)


End file.
